Esquire
Cheers to Whoever Just Saved Us $92 Million on Trump’s Farce of a Parade
Helping to shut down the president*’s ode to himself is truly a patriotic endeavor.
By Charles P. Pierce August 17, 2018
Nicholas Kamm
Somewhere in that five-sided mystery cabinet along the Potomac is a genuine American hero. We may never know this person’s name, but this person did the country a great service, in addition to making El Caudillo Del Mar-A-Lago an occasion for further mockery, which is always a worthwhile patriotic endeavor. Sometime on Wednesday night, this person—or persons—got in touch with Amanda Macias of CNBC, and this is what Macias was told:
“The Department of Defense and its interagency partners have updated their prospective cost estimates for the parade, according to a U.S. defense official with firsthand knowledge of the assessment. The official spoke on the condition of anonymity. The parade, originally slated for Nov. 10 but now potentially set for 2019, is estimated to cost $92 million, the official said. The figure consists of $50 million from the Pentagon and $42 million from interagency partners such as the Department of Homeland Security. An initial estimate last month pegged the prospective cost for the parade at $12 million.”
The whole idea of this parade was a farce from the start, but it was a farce to which much of official Washington seemed resigned to suffer; a costly two-hour demonstration of armed presidential* onanism is no way to spend an holiday afternoon, but it looked like it was going to happen anyway. Then the real price of the impending wank-a-thon was leaked and, within an hour, the White House had yet another PR catastrophe on its hands. What happened next was inevitable. From Reuters:
“We originally targeted November 10, 2018 for this event but have now agreed to explore opportunities in 2019,” Defense Department Spokesman Colonel Rob Manning said in a statement. A U.S. official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said it was unclear exactly what caused the postponement but the increased cost of the event had caused concern and could be one reason. The parade to honor U.S. military veterans and commemorate the 100th anniversary of the end of World War One could cost more than $90 million, the U.S. official said, citing provisional planning figures that were nearly three times an earlier White House estimate.”
Reaction from the president* was not long in coming, and it was every bit as petty, incoherent, and untruthful as you can expect from someone who doesn’t know anything about anything and who lies about it anyway.
Donald J. Trump: The local politicians who run Washington, D.C. (poorly) know a windfall when they see it. When asked to give us a price for holding a great celebratory military parade, they wanted a number so ridiculously high that I cancelled it. Never let someone hold you up! I will instead…
….attend the big parade already scheduled at Andrews Air Force Base on a different date, & go to the Paris parade, celebrating the end of the War, on November 11th. Maybe we will do something next year in D.C. when the cost comes WAY DOWN. Now we can buy some more jet fighters!
Zoom!
While D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser had been pushing back against this grandiose monstrosity almost from the moment it was proposed, it was that anonymous Pentagon spokesperson who blew the whistle the loudest. A grateful nation sends its thanks.
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